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So Frustrated. , _ ,

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 17, 2012, 9:49 PM

What am I doing with my life?

LOL at the cliche title.
I can never seem to wake up for class anymore and the worse part is it's my willpower that's failing me half the time! It's like I can really see the purpose in attending my chemistry classes or whatever. Like I dunno, I feel like I've given up. Like I wanna say, what am I doing with myself?? And the thing is... I don't know. I don't even know why I'm here anymore. BS Psychology's a pre med course and I honestly don't mind cause I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY but I hate Chemistry so much. I don't know anything. My grade is currently 30.64 of 100 and I'm not even trying anymore cause I know I'm going to drop it anyway... Haay. :<

I really do want art as a career so so badly but everyone always says "do it on the side" and of course I understand where they're coming from but right now I really don't see what else I want to do... I know it sound so so dramatic but art really is my passion. I mean that word, passion, actually makes sense in that context. It's the only thing I really want to slave over, lose sleep over and essentially bleed my hands to death over.

So my plan of action...

...really and truly sounds funny when i say it but I'm serious.
I want to succeed in the art world before I graduate. I wanna show my parents that it's possible to do. I want to do this before I graduate because it would kill me if I got stuck doing a job that I'm just being forced to or whatever. First world problems, third world country. :I
I just need enough to get by. Okay. I wont feel so horrible if I fail chemistry, right?

OH GOSH ANISIA. What are you even freaking out over again??
Just come what may I guess. I should try NOT to over cut my subjects though... But otherwise. You can do this!! Academic probation. You wouldn't feel bad about that. Shift to AB Psych. Yea sure. At least you're still in the university with the people you love right!? :D Now why the hell are you talking yourself? GET OF THIS JOURNAL NOW.


:thumb79213557:Nocturnal Stamp by Clockwerk-chanDreams Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
heebie-jeebies by cockrocketThis is How I Feel by Mr-Stampnocturnal artist eh... by AxiasAlexa


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Greencore Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm sort of confuse on how these classes work, I'm preparing my classes for next year in high school and I'm still not getting the whole scheduling down haha its all so confusing...!

but anyway, I hope you're not overly stressing yourself out with this : ( I just found out that your a psychology student (from looking at your profile) so it made sense to me that you were talking about psychology and hating on chemistry. You could still pursue a career in arts if art is your passion : ) For me, I'm trying to learn about the business world so I could use my art as a business rather than waiting for people to commission me or so (that might not happen for me though T_T) Isn't there a way to drop out of chemistry without failing or is that an option? O.o jeez i ask more questions than giving you advice x'D
Morag-I Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012   General Artist
When I got real with myself my junior year of high school--realizing that I enjoyed being on a horse's back more than digging around in ther guts--I realized that I wasn't supposed to be an equine vet. You can't even do it for the money anymore (but that's a different can of worms)

So I realized that my career had been staring me in the face since I was old enough to pick up a crayon. I want to be an artist, but personally, I think it's a little naieve to think that you will only do art for the rest of your life and not have to do anything else. Sure, some are this lucky, but not everyone. So I decided to get a degree that would not only help me in areas outside of art, but with my art. I'm now an accounting major at West Texas A&M University. On one hand, I'll be able to manage to make a living even if I'm not employed as an artist, and when I am, I'll have the know-how to manage my own finances (since many artists work for themselves and go freelance these days, they're basically running their own small business).

Sure, this means that I'll have to do a good deal of my 'art learning' on my own, but I feel that I can do it if I just keep DOING and keep track of what is truly marketable today.

You don't have to keep art 'on the side' but it's good to have some form of education to back you up/help you in your career.

Theres my two cents :twocents:
DKS734 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
I'm logging in just to comment to this! :strip: You poop.

"It's the only thing I really want to slave over, lose sleep over and essentially bleed my hands to death over."
^ already know the answer, my friend. THIS > :deviation: is what brings you happiness. So why stop yourself from pursuing what brings you happiness?

(I admit that I used to tell you to do art on the side but that's because you never really expressed just how passionate you are about art. So don't listen to past-Joey.)

Passion is all you need to be truly successful. :nod: And you don't only have the passion, you're EFFING TALENTED at art. You just get better and better every time I see your new drawings, it's insane! Art is something you were born to do and all your friends know that. :nod:

Money's just the bonus, you know? People can have all the money in the world and still not be happy because they were never able to pursue what truly brought them happiness.

OKAY I'm having mouth diarrhea. Anyways I hope you get my point. But Anisia, if you also like Psychology and you like it enough to take it as a job, that's up to you! Just please follow what feels right to you. Like what Steve Job says "If you're not happy, leave."


P.S. When I talked to a guidance counselor in Ateneo and he suggested art as a course, he told me that the problem with people is that they always say "JUST art?". It's simple! Remove the "just" and don't listen to people who are close-minded. Don't listen to those that say that you're wasting your brain.
DKS734 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
You're also a gifted and passionate artist so if you feel like you want to pursue art full-time, then I'm also speaking out to you!
realgoodpizza Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012
I don't even know what I was saying anymore but the vent helped and I'm okay-er now.
yoni-mieru Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
are you sure? :saddummy:
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
realgoodpizza Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012
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Submitted on
February 17, 2012